Maintaining attraction in a long term relationship isn’t always an easy task and it gets more difficult with the passing years and a few children. A long term partnership or a marriage has many social, financial and psychological pressures that weigh it down and impact the desirability of the partner and excitement of the relationship.
For a relationship to work, whether it’s a couple of months or 50 plus years, attraction is a very important factor. There will inevitably be short periods of ups and downs in sexual desire for your partners, but sometimes it can stretch too long. This is when it becomes important to address this issue by implementing some of these ways to keep the attraction between both partners intact. Here are some ways you can keep the flame going and the attraction at its peak in your relationship.
- Keep in shape: One of the most common things that happen when one or both partners lose interest in each other is that they do not find themselves to be attractive. A lot of ups and downs in sexual intimacy are related to the way the partners feel about themselves. Body positivity and self-esteem are important elements of being sexually receptive which is why keeping in good shape also keeps your sexual spirits high. Eat healthy, exercise and stay fit. When you feel good in your body, you radiate vibes which attract your partner towards you. Moreover owning an attractive body will naturally lead you to take actions to fulfill your sexual desires.
- Put an effort in your appearance: After a long time in a marriage or a relationship, many people let go of themselves in terms of personal grooming and dressing up. It’s not just important to be in good shape. To create interest, excitement and some thrill it’s very important to have occasions where both partners groom themselves well, dress up nicely in a fancy boutique dress and indulge in a romantic activity. Be it a dinner date in your most appealing clothes or a wild and sexy night of partying out, when the sex appeal is amped up, both partners feel the heat and that is bound to bring back any previous dip in the attraction meter.
- Show and give mementos of love: Small gestures of love go a long way in keeping two people together and in love. Love is not a magical flower in an enchanted garden that keeps growing on its own. It is instead more like a regular flower which is delicate and needs nourishment and care throughout. To water your relationship your little acts of thoughtful affection like bringing flowers or chocolates, decorating the house with scented candles or writing letters will prove to be very effective. To stay emotionally and sexually interested, both partners need to be able to see each other making efforts and showing affection and gratitude towards the other.
- Find a way to miss them: Our hyper-connected world makes people feel like their social connections are more burdensome than a treat and this is highly amplified in our personal relationships as our spouses are almost always next to us and even when they aren’t they are always calling or texting us. When you meet your partner in person give them all the attention that you can but when you are away, resist the temptation of always texting them, sending them pictures or calling. Have night outs with your friends or plan outings with your colleagues sometimes. When both partners have a sense of autonomy and some space the desire to reconnect and be pulled back to your partner gets even stronger.
- Compliments: Giving compliments is like giving verbal presents because they always make everyone smile. Couples that give compliments to each other demonstrate their love in their daily little messages. Positive feedback creates a safe space and a warm loving atmosphere for humans and its needed most in our very own spousal relationships.
- Understand that help is sometimes good. No matter how skeptical of marriage counseling you are, stats prove that 97 percent of the people who went into marriage counseling got the help that they needed. Experts interviewed couples who were together for around seven decades and even they agreed that sometimes in a marriage there are situations that really benefit from outside intervention. So don’t hesitate to seek help for your precious relationship.